


Harry Potter and the City of Dreaming Spires

by sturmundwank



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Gen, M/M, Oxford, Pre-Slash, Vignette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-08 08:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1933299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sturmundwank/pseuds/sturmundwank
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Oh, great,’ muttered Ron, thrusting the latest issue of <em>The Cherwell</em> in Harry’s face, ‘more Malfoy this week.'</p><p>Or: The adventures of Harry Potter set in the noble and most ancient city of Oxford and told through a series of loosely connected vignettes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harry Potter and the City of Dreaming Spires

**Author's Note:**

> I can't promise I'll update this work regularly, or that it will ever gain the shape of a real story, but I *can* promise that I'm having lots of fun playing with this idea. If you have fun reading, you should consider staying along for the ride!
> 
> A glossary of Oxford terms will appear in the form of endnotes after every instalment, with self-indulgent discussion of the writing process in the real endnotes. Tags and rating to be updated as new content appears.

 In _The Cherwell_ ’s **BNOC TOP 40** , Trinity Term ’14:i

 

#3: Draco Malfoy, PPEist at Christ Churchii

 

Including this former president of the Oxford Union in our BNOC list may be unimaginative, but as a peer of the realm, the ex-boyfriend of West End starlet Pansy Parkinson and by far the most solvent patron of Camera, Draco Malfoy has an incontrovertible claim to university-wide and national fame.iii It would not be an exaggeration to say he has bulldozed through the university's social scene, both in the usual way (i.e. by partying really hard, for the Mertonians among you) and by getting into a number of public spats with various feminist, environmental and left-wing activist groups. Add crashing college balls, setting Christ Church property on fire and tending to a long-standing feud with fellow BNOC Harry Potter to his long list of social obligations, and one has to wonder how he finds the time to stay on top of his degree.

* * *

 

Ron’s habit of reading, eating and occasionally grooming himself while walking, even in the middle of the tourist-infested pandemonium that was Broad Street, never ceased to astonish Harry. He had to admit, however, that it meant he never had to go out of his way to get the news.

‘Oh, great,’ muttered Ron, thrusting the latest issue of _The Cherwell_ in Harry's face, ‘more Malfoy this week. Three times in one issue! I can’t rip a fart in my own toilet without worrying it might summon his face.’

‘Is he on the BNOC list?’ Harry asked, too busy weaving through the stampede of Italian teenagers exiting the nearest tat shop to echo Ron’s outrage.

‘They’ve got him in third place. Just listen to this shite.’ Ron’s voice took on a mock-fawning tone. ‘ _It would not be an exaggeration to say he has_ bull _dozed through the university's social scene._ Ha! Thanks for the hint, yeah. Like there’s anyone in Oxford who doesn’t know he’s in the Buller…iv Oh, look, you’re there too. _Tending to a long-standing feud with fellow BNOC Harry Potter_.’ Ron shook his head in dismay. ‘Don’t they have actual news to write about?’

They had crossed the tide of human traffic and reached Balliol during Ron’s tirade, and Harry took a relieved breath in the sanctuary of his college’s porters’ lodge.v

‘Well, I _am_ kind of a big deal, if you haven't heard,’ he joked, eliciting a groan from Ron. ‘But really, the number of controversies Malfoy’s been involved in... I can’t say he doesn’t deserve some sort of recognition.’

‘Recognition’s one thing,’ Ron said, chucking the paper into the nearest rubbish bin with a disdainful flick of the wrist, ‘publishing a glamour shot of him in white tie next to an overview of his romantic history is another. I swear he’s got half the _Cherwell_ staff on retainer, no other reason they’d be doing his press for him. He must love seeing his name there every week.’

‘You’re right, Weasley, I admit I can’t complain,’ drawled a familiar voice behind them. Harry squeezed his eyes closed and Ron let out a string of obscenities under his breath. ‘And when I do, running into unfortunates like you two is enough to remind me how grateful I should be for everything I have.’

Harry quickly racked his brain for a reason Malfoy might be in Balliol, but his sudden appearance remained completely inexplicable. There was nothing for it, however; Harry would have to engage. He steeled himself and turned around to glare at the man darkening his college’s doorstep.

He noted with some perturbation that Malfoy was not wearing a suit, for once, but jeans and a white t-shirt, and hadn’t gelled his hair into its usual severe do; instead it spilled into a feathery halo around his face. The irrational thought that he looked kind of naked skittered across Harry’s mind before he could squash it.

‘Ta, Malfoy, really, we had forgotten about your immense privilege for a second,’ he said, hoping he didn’t look as wrong-footed as he felt. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Why, Potter, I couldn’t stay away from you,’ Malfoy cooed at him, lifting a hand as if to stroke Harry’s face. Ron gagged. ‘The beauty of your deformed forehead has defeated me. I’ve decided I can’t go on without seeing it first thing every morning, so I’m moving into your college—actually into your room! Should I bring my own bedsheets or can we share?’

Harry floundered around, searching for a rejoinder to this juvenile taunt. The unfamiliar sight of Malfoy in a space that had previously been blessedly Malfoy-free in his mental map of Oxford made him feel uncomfortable, disoriented and, if truth be told, a bit violated.

Fortunately, Ron came to his aid. ‘Just to check, like, are you joking?’ he asked. ‘Because I’ve always thought you might have a thing for Harry. Remember Lent in C block, when you—’vi

‘Don’t be asinine, Weasley,’ Malfoy snapped with a glare, breaking character. ‘Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m visiting a friend. Now, if you’ll excuse me—’

‘A friend? Who?’ Harry and Ron chorused as Malfoy swept past them and onto the college quad. Malfoy paused.

‘I guess you’re going to find out one way or another,’ he said over his shoulder. ‘Astoria Greengrass and I are engaged, so you'll be seeing me in your neck of the woods. Have a good day.’ With that, he beat a retreat in the direction of the back quad, and silence descended in his wake.

‘Well,’ Ron said, several long seconds later, ‘my condolences to whoever the hell Astoria Greengrass is... Christ, toffs are weird.’

‘She’s a fresher, I think,’ said Harry.

‘He’s reeled in a _first-year_?’ Ron let out a barking laugh. ‘What a creep!’

Harry shrugged non-committally, electing to forgo any mention of his brief stint as Ginny Weasley's older boyfriend. He was eager to put the disconcerting encounter with Malfoy out of his mind.

* * *

 

## Glossary of Terms

 i _The Cherwell_ : Oxford University’s oldest and arguably most famous student newspaper.  
BNOC (pronounced bee-knock): **B** ig **N** ame **O** n **C** ampus, a term Oxford students purport to use ironically but resort to so often it can only really fill a real gap in their vocabulary.  
Trinity Term: One of the three terms that make up Oxford’s academic year, the other two being Michaelmas and Hilary.

iiPPE: Philosophy, Politics and Economics, an academic course famous for the driven and ambitious personalities it attracts.  
Christ Church: One of the constituent colleges of Oxford University, famously immortalised on screen in the _Harry Potter_ films. The stereotypical Christ Church student is white, male, rich and snooty.

iiiThe Oxford Union: A debating society student conservatives use as a launching pad for their political careers. Its members, particularly its officers, are routinely mired in controversy.  
Camera: A nightclub in Oxford where one can usually find high concentrations of social climbers and athletes.

ivThe Bullingdon Club: A secret society everyone knows about, and the object of unending fascination and criticism in Oxford and beyond. I imagine Lucius Malfoy would have been a member in his own student days, and facilitated Draco’s induction.

vBalliol: Another Oxford college, traditionally associated with political success and left-of-centre politicians and public figures.  
Porters’ lodge: An administrative-architectural feature of every Oxford college, the lodge is normally located at or near the college entrance. [This](http://i61.tinypic.com/20z776f.jpg) is Balliol’s.

viLent Term: One of the two terms that make up Eton’s academic year, though the public school Ron, Harry and Draco went to is only partly based on Eton.  
C block: The Etonian term for the first year of one’s A-levels, or Year 12 (junior year of high school in America).

**Author's Note:**

> So. In case anyone is wondering if the college assignments have any significance, I did put Malfoy and Harry in Christ Church and Balliol, respectively, because I think those colleges' reputations in Oxford mirror the reputations of Slytherin and Gryffindor in Hogwarts. That being said, in this universe Ron, Harry, Hermione and Malfoy are supposed to know each other from school, which renders the Hogwarts-Oxford analogy imperfect, and allows me to place Hermione and Ron in the colleges where they, in my opinion, belong: Merton and St Catherine's, respectively. (I know, I know.)
> 
> I'd like to note I'm very proud of myself for drawing the apt parallel between the Bullingdon Club and the Death Eaters.


End file.
